66 lines
7.1 KiB
Markdown
66 lines
7.1 KiB
Markdown
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### 🚀 **1. "Linux is only for hackers!"**
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Oh yes, every time you install Debian, the FBI immediately starts monitoring your keystrokes because *obviously* you’re about to hack into the Pentagon. Meanwhile, you're just trying to figure out why your Wi-Fi isn’t working. Or I am figure out how my neovim config looks THIS good and still I am absolutely wretched at using it with any proficiency.
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### 🖥️ **2. "Linux has no GUI—it's all terminal!"**
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Oh, totally! Every Linux user spends their day in a dark room, typing out **arcane** commands like `sudo make me a sandwich`, hacking into the mainframe, and staring at a blinking cursor. Meanwhile, Linux has desktops *fancier* than Windows and macOS combined—**looking at you, KDE Plasma, with your animations smoother than my life choices**. And let’s not forget GNOME, Cinnamon, XFCE, and all the other desktops that let you customize *literally everything*. But sure, keep believing that Linux is just a black screen with green text. 😆🐧
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### 💾 **3. "You have to compile everything from source!"**
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Oh, absolutely! Every Linux user wakes up, stretches, and thinks, *"Ah, what a beautiful day to spend six hours compiling my web browser from source!"* Meanwhile, in reality, most distros have package managers like **apt, dnf, pacman, and Flatpak** that make installing software *easier* than Windows. One command, and boom—done. Meanwhile, Windows users are busy clicking through five different download pages, dodging sketchy installers, and unchecking “Yes, please install McAfee and change my homepage to Bing.” 😆🐧
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### 🎮 **4. "You can’t game on Linux!"**
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Tell that to *Steam Deck*, *Proton*, and thousands of games that run *better* on Linux than on Windows. But sure, let’s pretend Linux gaming is just Tux Racer and some ASCII Snake clone.
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### 🦖 **5. "Linux is old and outdated!"**
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Yes, Linux is so outdated that it runs 96% of the internet, powers every Android phone, and *literally* runs on Mars. But hey, enjoy your fresh copy of Windows ME.
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### 🛠️ **6. "You have to be a programmer to use Linux!"**
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That must mean all those grandmas running Linux Mint to check their emails, play pinochle online, and hunt for deals on Amazon are actually undercover kernel developers. Sneaky! Real sneaky nana!!
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### 🔥 **7. "Linux is free, so it must be bad!"**
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Oh yeah, because we all know the best things in life come with a price tag. Just look at Windows—where you pay for updates that break your system and antivirus that still doesn’t stop malware.
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This is called the "price-quality heuristic" or "expensive = better" bias. It’s a cognitive bias where people assume that higher-priced items must be superior in quality, even when there’s no actual evidence to support it. Marketers love this, which is why luxury brands can charge absurd prices for things that sometimes aren’t much better than their cheaper alternatives.
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It ties into the idea of perceived value—people often equate cost with exclusivity, reliability, or status. But as Linux proves, sometimes the best things really are free! 😎
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### 🏴☠️ **8. "Linux is for pirates!"**
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Sorry, but if you’re installing Linux just to pirate software, you’re doing it wrong. You don’t need to pirate apps when almost everything is *already* free and open source.
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### 💻 **9. "Linux is only for servers!"**
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Yes, Linux runs most servers, but guess what? It also runs your smart fridge, your car, and probably your router. Basically, if it’s not Windows or macOS, it’s probably Linux in disguise.
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### 🎩 **10. "Linux users are elitist snobs!"**
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Okay, I’ll admit we *do* enjoy flexing our uptime and ricing our desktops, but we also spend half our time helping people in forums and making fun of Arch users. We’re not snobs—we just *really* love talking about our distros.
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### 🐧 **11. "Linux is too hard to install!"**
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Oh, absolutely! Clicking “Next, Next, Install” in Ubuntu, Mint or Pop is *way* more complicated than spending hours hunting for obscure error codes after Windows decides to update itself into oblivion. Because who *doesn’t* love the thrill of a spontaneous blue screen or the mystery of “Undoing changes made to your computer” on an infinite loop? Meanwhile, over in Linux land, I’m done installing my Debian minimal install in 6 stinking minutes and wondering what to do with the rest of my day. 🤷♂️🐧
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### 💀 **12. "If you mess up, you have to reinstall everything!"**
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Oh, absolutely! One misplaced character in your `.bashrc`, and your laptop transforms into a smoldering pile of silicon. 🔥 Meanwhile, Linux users just roll back with **Timeshift** or **Snapper**, chroot in, or fix things with a live USB—while Windows users are stuck chanting incantations to the Blue Screen gods, hoping “Startup Repair” actually does something this time. 🧙♂️💀
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### 🛑 **13. "Linux is dying!"**
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Oh yeah, totally—just like how Windows Phone is *thriving*. Meanwhile, Linux is quietly taking over the world, running on everything from supercomputers and web servers to smartphones, smart TVs, game consoles, routers, self-driving cars, and space probes. Even your internet-connected fridge is probably running Linux. And let’s not forget **your mom’s** Raspberry Pi, which she’s using to automate her sourdough starter and livestream her cat. But sure, Linux is *totally* on its last legs. 😆🐧
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### 📂 **14. "Linux filesystems are weird!"**
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Oh sure, because Windows’ **C:\Program Files (x86)\Microsoft\SomeRandomSubfolder\WhyIsThisHere** is so much more logical than a clean `/home/user/Documents`.
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### 🤖 **15. "Linux is bad at hardware support!"**
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Yes, that’s why it runs on everything from a **NASA satellite** to a toaster. Meanwhile, Windows refuses to detect your brand-new printer.
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### 🔒 **16. "Linux isn’t secure!"**
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Right, that’s why 99% of malware targets Windows. Linux security issues: *mild inconvenience*. Windows security issues: *national crisis*.
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### 🎤 **17. "Linux audio is terrible!"**
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Look, Linux audio *can* be janky, but at least we don’t have to deal with Windows’ *random driver updates* that make your mic sound like it’s broadcasting from the bottom of the ocean.
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### ⏳ **18. "Linux is slow!"**
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Yeah, that’s why a 10-year-old ThinkPad runs smoother on Linux than a brand-new Windows laptop bloated with preinstalled junkware.
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### 📡 **19. "Linux doesn’t support Wi-Fi!"**
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Totally! That’s why people are using Linux on laptops *without* plugging in Ethernet cables like it's 1999. (Okay, Broadcom Wi-Fi can be annoying, but it *works*).
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🕵️ 20. "Nobody uses Linux!"
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Oh, absolutely! Nobody—except developers, scientists, businesses, cloud providers, banks, stock exchanges, supercomputers, medical equipment, smart devices, routers, game consoles, NASA, the military, Android users (aka literally billions of people), and, oh yeah, the entire internet. But sure, keep telling yourself that as you stream Netflix (on Linux servers) from your Android phone (running Linux) over Wi-Fi (on a Linux-powered router). Totally niche. 🙃🐧
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